Weddings

The pastors and staff at MAPC consider it a privilege to assist you in having your wedding service here. In addition to assuring that the service is a beautiful beginning to a vital and successful marriage, the pastoral staff will continue to be available to you for consultation and support as your life as a newly married couple begins.

The service proclaims that marriage is a gift created by God, blessed by our Lord Jesus Christ and sustained by the Holy Spirit. It presumes that you both share the belief that marriage is a life-long covenant of mutual love, faithfulness and service. It also presumes you want your wedding to take place in the church as an expression of your own faith and desire to have God as an ongoing partner in your marriage.

The Service for Christian Marriage of the Presbyterian Church (U.S.A.) is the official service used for weddings at MAPC. Because the ceremony is a witness to the Christian gospel and its understanding of marriage, the content of the service is under the supervision of the officiating pastor. Within the liturgy there are ample opportunities for a couple to shape a service that expresses their lives and faith commitments. Members of the wedding party, family or friends may participate in the service. While the officiating pastor will provide a list of suggested scripture readings from which to choose, the liturgy also provides opportunities for specific requests for music, scripture lessons, hymns, the celebration of the Lord's Supper and the inclusion of other personalized expressions of commitment.


Arranging for a wedding at MAPC

The Sanctuary seats 650 and is appropriate for any size wedding. Dana Chapel, which is popular for small weddings, comfortably accommodates 65 guests. Weddings traditionally take place on Saturdays in the Sanctuary at 12, 3 or 6 pm, or in Dana Chapel at 2 or 5 pm. Occasionally, a Sunday afternoon service is possible, when other church programs are not using the spaces. Similarly, it is possible to schedule services on weekdays, when church program needs permit.

Once you have decided that you would like your wedding ceremony to be held at MAPC, contact the MAPC Business Manager (212-288-8920, x243) to reserve a space and time for the service. His office can tell you when the Sanctuary and Dana Chapel are available. Once you have decided upon a time and space, a non-refundable deposit of $500 is required to reserve the space. (The deposit will be applied to your final church fees.) Upon the Church Office's receipt of your deposit, the officiating pastor will call to arrange the first of several pre-marriage conferences. At the first meeting, the pastor will discuss the service, arrange for the remaining pre-marriage conferences and answer whatever questions you might have about the service or its preparations.


Frequently Asked Questions

Must we be members of Madison Avenue Presbyterian Church (MAPC) to be married here?
No. We only require that at least one member of the couple be a professing Christian.

One of us is Christian and the other comes from another faith tradition. May we be married at MAPC?
Interfaith marriages require special care and counsel. If a couple is considering such a marriage, they should seek the counsel of their religious leaders long before attempting to plan a marriage service. If the pastors at MAPC are confident that in marriage the couple can continue to live and express their faiths while fulfilling the expectations of Christian marriage, they will be glad to officiate at the service. Aspects of other faith traditions that are in keeping with Christian worship may be included in the wedding service.

Does the church permit divorced persons to marry?
Yes. The gospel is not about punishing people for their pasts, but about inviting them to new life. However, before the church will marry a divorced person, it is essential that an honest assessment of the former marriage be taken. Our pastors are trained to assist with such discussions and will lead the couple through this conversation in pre-marriage preparation, discussing factors that caused the failure of the previous marriage.

Who can serve as officiating pastor?
Each wedding at MAPC will be officiated by a member of our pastoral staff. You may request a specific MAPC pastor, or a pastor will be appointed on the basis of his or her availability. If you are interested in having a non-MAPC pastor participate in the service, you should indicate so to the officiating pastor during your first meeting. Ecumenical weddings have long been welcomed at MAPC. Ministers or priests (or clergy of non-Christian traditions) are invited to participate in the service by the officiating pastor, whose responsibility it is to make those arrangements. The couple is responsible for the preparation or approval of any documents that may be required by another denomination. Also, theirs is the responsibility of providing an honorarium for the visiting clergy.

May we include family and friends in service leadership?
It is very appropriate for family and friends to be invited to participate in the leadership of the service, often being asked to read from Scripture. We ask that you keep in mind, however, that in the same way weddings are times of great joy, they can also be times of considerable stress. Children are particularly vulnerable to these pressures and are often not well served by being expected to be a part of the wedding party. We discourage the inclusion of children younger than 10 years of age as flower girls, ring bearers, junior bridesmaids or groomsmen.

Does the church require pre-marriage counseling?
Yes. When a couple makes a commitment to be married at MAPC, the wedding date is established and reserved. Shortly thereafter the officiating pastor will contact the couple to arrange for several meetings. Though each pastor at MAPC has a slightly different approach to pre-marriage preparation, the conversations generally focus on the couple's relational history and expectations, family backgrounds, work and financial issues and other pertinent areas that will impact the development of the marriage.

May we include the sacrament of the Lord's Supper in our wedding service?
The Lord's Supper may be celebrated if both individuals getting married are professing Christians. When the sacrament is celebrated it must be offered to all baptized people attending the service. Often the pastor will ask the bride and groom to assist in serving the elements to the congregation. The pastor will be glad to speak further with you about this at your first pre-marriage conference. The inclusion of the Lord's Supper usually extends the service by no more than ten minutes.

How long is a typical service?
Services range in length from thirty-five minutes to an hour, depending on the order of worship. Because of the complexities of traveling within the city and the difficulty out-of-town guests may have finding the church, we have found it prudent to start wedding services five to ten minutes after the invited time. Because of this, at least an hour should be planned for the service, and at least half an hour should be planned between the end of the service and the reception. If the wedding is during holidays, and the reception is to be in a mid-town location, we would suggest that you consider some form of chartered transportation for your guests. Cabs can be difficult to find on Saturday afternoons during the holiday season.

Is the church accessible for people with disabilities?
MAPC has been officially designated an "Accessible Congregation" by the Council on Disabilities. There is wheelchair accessibility from Madison Avenue, and several places within the Sanctuary accommodate people with walkers or wheelchairs. A sound system for the hearing impaired is also available. Arrangements to have the sound system in operation need to be made with the officiating pastor prior to the wedding rehearsal. ADA bathroom facilities are available in the Parish Hall, which is accessible by elevator.

Is parking available near the church?
On-street parking around the church is scarce. There is, however, a parking garage on 73rd Street between Madison and Fifth Avenues, but rates are very expensive. We recommend that, if possible, wedding guests use public transportation. There is a significant "standing only" area immediately in front of the Sanctuary where limousines may be parked during the service, as long as the driver remains with the car.

Does the church have facilities suitable for a reception following the service?
The Parish Hall is available for wedding receptions, large or small. Our Business Office can provide the necessary information about catering fees, rental of linens, and other items necessary for the reception. Care of guests' coats, supervision at the reception desk, and all other details of the reception are expenses that are the responsibility of the couple. Guests may smoke outside the buildings and are asked to be respectful of church property and not litter. Alcoholic beverages may be served in accordance with the church's policy on alcohol, which can be explained by the Business Manager.

How do we obtain a marriage license?
A New York State license is required for marriage, though it need not be secured in New York City. It is always advisable to check the hours of operation at the Office of Marriage Licenses at City Hall if the license is being obtained in Manhattan. The license is good for 60 days, but not for the first 24 hours after it has been issued. A blood test is not necessary. If one or both of you has been divorced, it is necessary to present a copy of all pertinent official court divorce papers to obtain a marriage license. After the ceremony, the wedding license needs to be signed by you, two witnesses (often the Best Man and Maid/Matron of Honor) and the officiating pastor. It will then be mailed by the Church Office to the Clerk of the City of New York for registration purposes. Thereafter you may secure a copy of your marriage license from the city. (Please note, the city does not automatically mail a copy of the signed license to you after the license is registered.) If you need proof of your marriage immediately following the wedding, please indicate that to the officiating pastor, who can provide you with a photocopy of the completed license.

What about a printed program for our wedding?
Couples often enjoy having a printed program, especially if the service will include congregational participation. Programs will be produced by the church at a modest cost, or an outside printer may be engaged. The cost will depend upon the nature of that printing (photocopy or offset press), the number of copies and the cost of the stock. In either instance, the officiating pastor will be responsible for developing the final order of worship. A final copy of the service and the list of participants will be provided at the final pre-marriage conference so the program may be proofed for the list of participants and spelling of names.

May we throw rice or release balloons?
Exuberant delight in a new marriage is understandable, but for many reasons we ask that you do not throw rice, confetti or birdseed, all of which litter the sidewalk for others and may sometimes present a hazard. Balloons are an ecological hazard and can suffocate birds that may attempt to eat them. Friends and family are most welcome to gather on the steps and sidewalk of the church for celebration and photographs, but please do not throw things that create hazards for the church or for those passing by on the street.

Will the pastors attend the rehearsal dinner and reception?
Though the pastors and their spouses appreciate the hospitality of such invitations, their schedules do not permit them to participate in the festivities that follow rehearsals or the wedding service. If there is no wedding or other official event following your service, pastors will happily join you at your reception and offer a blessing as the dinner begins. They will then ask to be excused as Sunday is a workday for them! Please do not plan to include them for dinner.


Other Service Concerns

Sanctuary Furniture
The baptismal font and the communion table are furnishings integral to the Christian faith-neither may be moved.

Music
The wedding ceremony is a service of worship and the music for the service must be appropriate in expressing gratitude and praise to God for the gift of marriage. (Secular or popular songs of special meaning to you should be reserved for the wedding reception.) Music for the service is under the direction and supervision of the Director of Music/Organist of MAPC who is expected to play all weddings. After your initial meeting with the officiating pastor you should make an appointment with the Director of Music/Organist to discuss the music for the service, including any hymns to be sung by the congregation. If the Organist is not available to play at the wedding, he will arrange for a substitute. If our organist is available but you desire a guest organist or other musicians, MAPC follows the policy of the American Guild of Organists: a guest organist or other musicians must meet with our organist, who will assess the musicians' competence and experience. If the musicians are approved for the service, it will be your responsibility to arrange for and pay the musicians' fees, as well as our Director of Music/Organist's standard fee.

Instrumental and Vocal Soloists
Vocal and instrumental soloists are encouraged and can add great beauty to a service. The Director of Music/Organist acts as the coordinator for hiring these additional musicians and will be happy to be in contact with you about these musical possibilities. 

The church employs an octet of professional singers who are not only excellent ensemble singers, but accomplished soloists as well. If a vocal soloist, quartet, or a choir of eight singers is desired, they are to be drawn from this group of singers. Instrumentalists, such as a trumpeter, violinist, cellist, harpist, or string quartet are effective in our church setting and are also a popular choice with couples. If you wish to have a friend or family member sing or play at the service, arrangements must be made with our Director of Music/Organist as soon as possible.

Other Professional Services
The level of involvement of other professionals-photographers, videographers, florists and wedding coordinators-is at the discretion of the officiating pastor. The following policies are to be honored:

Photography and Videography
Guidelines and policies preceding and following the wedding service are different than those necessary during the service itself. Formal photographs of the wedding party may be taken within the Sanctuary from one hour until thirty minutes before the service, and formal photographs and "re-enactments" of the service may be arranged in the Sanctuary for thirty minutes following the recessional. Sanctuary access prior to the service is limited to one hour.

Though photographic and video recording of a wedding service can be a great blessing for remembering the ceremony over the years, unrestricted use of cameras is distracting, disruptive and even dangerous during the wedding itself. Unexpected bright flashes of light can do harm to people suffering from eye disease or other neurological disorders and musicians can be distracted or temporarily blinded by flash photography and this can interrupt the music at your ceremony. Additionally, retention of musicians by the church does not imply their permission to be implicitly photographed or included in videotapes of the ceremony.
Photographers and their assistants moving without constraint during the service is an unnecessary distraction and inappropriate. To ensure that worship itself remains the focus during the service, the following policies have been established:

  • Flash photography and/or video lights are not permitted. There is adequate light available for good photographs.

  • Photographers/videographers, whether professionals or guests, may shoot only from the balcony, not from the chancel, aisles or pews among family and guests. Those taking photos are not permitted to position themselves in the center aisle or intrude onto the chancel during the service. They must abide by the flash/light policy in all circumstances.

  • We ask that you ensure that your photographer, friends and family are aware of and adhere to this policy. Should this policy be violated, the officiating pastor may stop the wedding ceremony until the integrity of the service has been restored.

Dressing for the service and pre-service photographs
Though we do have a room in which the bride may change, we recommend that all members of the wedding party come to the church dressed for the service. If the wedding party is using the services of hair stylists or make-up artists, please assure that their work is scheduled early enough not to delay the service. If pre-service photographs are planned in a hotel or the park, please ensure that those photographs will be completed no later than one hour before the service. Remember that photographers are interested in taking as many photographs as possible as this is their business and they will continue to press for "one more shot" and inevitably cause you to be late. Please be disciplined with these people for the sake of your guests. And remember, there may well be another service scheduled after yours.

Flowers
Floral displays contribute to the sense of joyous celebration at a wedding, but we ask that restraint be shown in decorating the Sanctuary and Dana Chapel, taking into consideration the elegant simplicity of the worship spaces at MAPC. Wedding vows are exchanged in front of the communion table, which means that floral displays need to be placed at the sides of the chancel. Two flower stands are available and sufficient for a festive atmosphere. Flowers or other decorations cannot be tacked or otherwise attached to sanctuary furniture or fittings as well as doors (internal and external) and hand railings. An exception is made for candlelight weddings; simple decorations may be attached to the candlelight torch poles for those services. Scattering flowers on the center aisle is not permitted as crushed petals stain the marble floor and are dangerous to those walking down the aisle. The selection of a florist is the responsibility of the couple. A list of florists who are familiar with the church is included at the bottom of the Schedule of Fees page. The Church House will be open two hours before the ceremony on the day of the wedding, and the exterior sanctuary doors will open thirty minutes prior to the service.

Aisle Runner
Aisle runners are not permitted because they make walking on the marble floor difficult, if not dangerous.

Wedding Coordinators
Though couples may elect to have a wedding coordinator for help with many of the decisions accompanying the wedding festivities, such a person is not necessary for a wedding service at MAPC. Wedding coordinators who are contracted and expected to assist with the service must be familiar with church policy and follow the instructions of the officiating pastor.

Rehearsals
Wedding rehearsals are held at 5 pm on the evening before the wedding. All members of the wedding party, including parents, readers, ushers, soloists and musicians, are expected to attend unless excused by the officiating pastor. Routinely, rehearsals take one hour. For very small weddings or wedding parties, a rehearsal may not be necessary. The decision as to whether or not a rehearsal is necessary will be made by the officiating pastor, in consultation with the couple. The wedding license and wedding rings should be brought to the rehearsal and left with the officiating pastor, who will provide safe-keeping for them until the service.

Candlelight Services
Candlelight services are possible in the Sanctuary for all weddings that begin near or after sundown. The Sanctuary may be configured with hurricane candles affixed to poles at the end of the pews on the center aisle. An additional charge for candles and maintenance staff is listed among the schedule of fees at the end of this brochure.

In Conclusion
A wedding is a thrilling, joyful, life-changing event, celebrated with delight and pleasure with family and friends. The center of that event is the worship service where a couple makes life-long loving promises to one another in the presence of God, with the assurance of God's blessing upon the relationship.

If you have decided you want to be married at MAPC, we encourage you to begin noting your questions and concerns for discussion with the pastor. Each conference will begin with a time to review those concerns and questions. We want your wedding service to be an expression of you and your love for one another.

We at MAPC promise to do all that we can to help prepare you for the joys and responsibilities of your new life together following the exchange of your wedding vows.

During the time of preparation, we welcome and encourage you to make a special effort to attend Sunday worship services with us. One of the best ways to assure the health of your relationship is to worship weekly, becoming one in a life of faith through prayer, worship and service. If you would like to consider becoming a member of the congregation, we would be happy to talk with you about that as well.

Above all, we want you to know that we remain available to help you through this important time in your lives. In the weeks, months and years that follow, we promise to be available to help you continue to grow in your life together.


Scripture Readings For Christian Marriage

The following readings are particularly appropriate for use in the service of Christian marriage. The couple is asked to read through these lessons before meeting with the officiating pastor so that together they may select one Old Testament, one Psalm, one Epistle and one Gospel lesson to be used in their wedding service. It is appropriate for the Psalm to be sung rather than read. The pastor will help you find appropriate Psalm selections from the hymnal.

Old Testament Lessons
Genesis 2:4b-24 God creates man and woman for each other as helpmates. Song of Solomon 8:6-7 "Set me as a seal upon your heart ... many waters cannot quench love."
Proverbs 3:3-6 "Trust the Lord with all your heart ..."
Isaiah 54:5-8 "Your maker is your husband ..."

Psalms
Psalm 67 "May God be gracious to us and bless us ..."
Psalm 95:1-7 "O come, let us sing to the Lord."
Psalm 100 "Make a joyful noise to the Lord."
Psalm 103:1-5, 15-18 "Bless the Lord, O my soul."
Psalm 136:1-9, 26 "Give thanks to the Lord for God is good."
Psalm 145 "Praise the Lord."

Epistles
Romans 12:1-2, 9-18 Present yourselves a living sacrifice ... let your love be genuine.
1 Corinthians 13:1-13 "Faith, hope, love ... the greatest of these is love."
Colossians 3:12-17 "Clothe yourselves with love ..."
1 John 4:7-12 Let us love one another ... God is love.

Gospels
Matthew 5:13-16 "You are the salt of the earth ... the light of the world."
Matthew 22:35-40 "Love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul and mind."
Mark 10:6-9 "What God has joined, let no one separate ..."
John 15:1-17 Jesus, the true vine that gives life.